You Have to Start Somewhere
As I mentioned in 'Previously on the Foundation Course', all good reflection journals must start off with a look over what's gone before. But now we've done that we're on virgin territory, which is rather exciting. This is the point at which I have to decide roughly what my project is and where I want to take it. So today we're looking at inspiration and start points because you have to start somewhere.
We went off to Hampshire for a couple of days in October when the Rheumatoid Arthritis had really taken hold and I was struggling to get very far or even lift a mug of tea. We did manage one decent walk from the hotel to the beach and while we were going through the woods we came across this tree with really vigorous ivy growing up it. It was gnarly and sinuous at the same time.
I thought it was beautiful but the more I considered it, the more I thought about the damage the ivy is actually doing to the tree and that this is not a symbiotic relationship. This is not Ebony and Ivory living together in perfect harmony. The tree isn't really gaining anything from the ivy and the ivy, if it is too vigorous, will kill the tree and lose its host.
The more I thought about this, the more I saw parallels with the human body and the effects life in general can have on it. You are the strong trunk. What life throws at you (which can be beautiful and horrific at the same time) is the ivy. Further discussion with friends and colleagues threw up the idea that stripping the ivy back can leave scars like the ones on this wall. And if you transfer that metaphor over to humans the same can be said in both a physical and a metaphysical sense.
I suppose my interpretation was partly based on my illness. I was feeling physically and emotionally quite fragile at the time. The RA wasn't under control. It felt like it was growing up me unchecked and I needed someone to come and strip it back a bit.
So in this scenario, who or what stripped the ivy away? In the image I had in my head I kept seeing hands but they weren't attached to anyone's body. It was hard to know if they were benevolent hands or if they were unfriendly. There were no clues.
My tutor suggested to us at the beginning of the term that we attempt to put together an image or images which might encapsulate our idea for the final project. With that in mind I pulled together this:
I'm calling this 'Base Camp'. When I'm planning a project I tend to have an image in my head of what I want to create. The whole point of this course was to help me move away from simply re-creating that image and instead use it as a starting point for exploration. And that's the bit I find scary. It's a bit like driving with your eyes closed.
Anyway, keep this image and my explanation of how I got to it at the back of your mind. It's going to colour how I move forward with the project but it won't be the final image.
